5:2 the kind of woman I want to be

Oh, how I dream of a life, quite like my cousin, Brittany's. To pull off any look, pull off long hair, and look great in any picture. To marry happily and have a beautiful family. To have everything put together and be so classy. To model with ease and do anything I want. To be so confident that you'd be able to see it. 

Perhaps I'm wanting to grow up too fast. I should be young while I can, and a little immature. But I can't seem to find the good in that. I just want everything to fall in place now, to not have any worries about the present, and be confident in my future. 

I want to know that it will all be okay. I want what I have now to transition gracefully into my adult life. Everyone says I'm still a kid, but in a few months, I'm legally an adult. It's time to take responsibility for myself and be able to provide for the life I want to live. I feel like I'm being pulled between people who say to stay young and childlike and that I'm growing up too fast, and the reality of my own destiny and that I have the power to do whatever I wish. 

I love learning, but what if I don't want to go to college? There are so many people who live very successful lives, and did not attend, or did not graduate from college. Do I have the potential to do so as well? What makes someone good for a job? Does a degree automatically make someone better than someone else who has a great amount of experience? No matter which path I choose, I'm going to start at the bottom and have to work hard to get to the top. I don't know what my dream job is- I just want to help people. I realize there is a myriad of great information and skills I could gain from attending college, but am I really missing out if I don't go? Yes, a degree would provide me with something to fall back on in case things don't work put, but how valuable are degrees currently anyway? 

I'm not sure where I want to go, or how I'm going to get there, but I know the kind of woman I want to be. Successful, put together, classy, and happy.