10:1 pastoral to sublime

History really does repeat itself. By examining cultural and literary trends, we can see reoccurring themes throughout time. One such example is the Enlightenment period followed by the Romantic period, similar to the 1950s compared to the 60s. In the first of each set of periods, people were very traditional and science-based. The subsequent periods involved people rebelling against the accepted culture and turning toward the appreciation of sublime nature and awesome thoughts.

In the Enlightenment period, we see Shakepeare's works and John  Milton's Paradise Lost. The 19th century then begins the Romantic period and the pursuit of the unknown. Works such as "Kubla Khan" and Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. The focus shifts to the inability of science and sublime nature. Authors react against logic, and fill their works with emotion and passion. 

A century later, the 1950s bring conservative views and traditional family values. The next decade is then full of activists, drugs, and rebelling against the "man." More people speak out against societal problems such as environmental issues and civil rights. We see a turn from traditional to relaxed styles of thinking and living. 

These shifts in culture have reoccurred once, I wonder when thoughts will shift again.  

9:2 'tis the season

"I Want a Hippopotomaus for Chiristmas" is on the radio, houses are decorated with beautiful lights, and stores are filled with holiday supplies. Too bad it's only November. 

Christmas is my favorite holiday, yes, but Thanksgiving still deserves to be appreciated and celebrated. The meanings of these two holidays seems to get more lost  each year. Everyone seems to focus on Christmas and getting good deals on gifts than anything else. There of course are outliers and people who really do respect each holiday and the meaning behind them, but the country runs on money, unfortunately. 

Last November, I was excited for Christmas and I watched the Hallmark movies and listened to the songs once they started playing. This year, though, I feel Christmas has gotten out of hand, and not in a way that would be great- more giving, a sense of togetherness in the community- but trying to get people to buy more. Black Friday in itself is strange to me: let's give thanks for everything one day, and the next, let's trampled each other and do whatever it takes to get a good deal. However, stores are now having sale days even the week before Thanksgiving and staying open on the holiday as well. I believe everyone deserves the opportunity to stay home for the holiday. Some people not celebrate, and that's perfectly respectable, but employees shouldn't have to chose between staying home with family or their paycheck on Thanksgiving day. It's a day to spend time with each other, and give thanks, as strange as that may sound, given the name. But in most cases, the holiday is about food and football, which is disappointing to me. 

I wish more people, and especially business owners, respected each holiday in itself. Thanksgiving is lost in the Black Friday chaos, where the meaning of Christmas goes with it. Christmas is my favorite holiday because of the weather, the stories, the wonder and excitement of children, and the giving and helping natures people seem to pick up around this time. If more people focused even a little big more on the meaning of the holidays and not depending their happiness on material items, then each holiday would be respected, and I would be happy. 

9:1 act 5:scene 2

Act 5 Scene 1 of Hamlet- let's just say, it gets pretty crazy. Why everyone has to die in the end? I don't know. But it happens. Poor Horatio is the only survivor, needing to carry on in honor of Hamlet. 

Leading up to this climatic ending, Ophelia was the only one dead, besides Old Hamlet, of course. The last scene portrays the brutal deaths of 6 people within a matter of pages. Laertes and Hamlet duel. Gertrude sees Hamlet winning, so raises a toast in celebration, poisoning herself. Hamlet is then wounded and in turn wounds Laertes. Before he dies, Laertes proclaims that Claudius was responsible for setting everything up. Hamlet then turns the sword on Claudius, then falls. Right after all this, English ambassadors enter, speaking of the deaths of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Hamlet had sent replacement letters to the king of England, with orders to kill these two instead of Hamlet. That brings the total to 6 deaths, which is why the play is considered a tragedy. 

Perhaps everyone "deserved" to die, though the deaths of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are debatable. These two characters do not seem to have minds of their own. They are ordered to watch Hamlet by the king, so they do. They are also Hamlet's old friends, so they continue to be so. Do they deserve to be killed for following orders? That seems a little harsh, even if they should have thought for themselves. If you look through Hamlet's point of view, however, he didn't necessarily know Rosencrantz and Guildenstern didn't know what message they were carrying. They were simply carrying out an order from the king, who would likely have told them it was to protect Hamlet. Because Hamlet knew they were transporting a death sentence, he thought he had been betrayed by his old friends. Who wouldn't be upset? However, death still seems a harsh punishment. Did they deserve to die? The world may never know...

8:2 oh, that this too, too sullied flesh would melt...

"Oh, that this too, too sullied flesh would melt,thaw, and resolve itself into a dew, or that the Everlasting had not fixed His canon 'gainst self slaughter!" Strong words. 

Hamlet begins his first soliloquy with these words, enlightening the audience to just how upset he is. He has right to be upset as well: his beloved father is dead, Denmark has lost a great king, and his mother has remarried- to his late father's brother. Who wouldn't be upset?

Hamlet goes on to describe the world as useless and compares it to an unweeded garden. A world where the negatives and ugliness overpower the beauty and worth. He cannot believe the brevity since his father's passing, and the apathy everyone else seems to feel about the matter. Hamlet knows his father was a great king and a wonderful husband. The more his parents were together, the more they wanted to be together. Yet here his mother is  married to her brother-in-law, when her funeral shoes had not even worn. The tears on her face were not yet dried. Hamlet curses women, giving offence to them more than calling them weak: "Frailty- thy name is woman!" He says that not only are women weak, but they are the epitome of weakness. He says that an animal- a common beast, would have mourned longer for its mate than his mother did for Old Hamlet. Hamlet swears none of this is good, and no good could or will come of it all. However. Though it breaks his heart, he has to remain quiet. 

8:1 who I am

"Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?"

I came across this quote today and it halted me in my tracks. Who am I deep down? If I had no fear or social norms to follow, where would I be? What would I be doing? 

Lately I've become more aware of where I am and where I want to be- who I want to be. Different things are becoming more important to me. My priorities are changing. I'm growing up. 

Soon I'll be on my own, not totally, but enough that I need to take majority of my life as my own responsibility. I will still have support, but the rest is on me. 

I've realized that I have not been a woman of action. I let fear consume me and prevent me from doing things. Disappointing others, looking foolish, and not knowing what will happen. All things that have come across my mind and stopped me from carrying out a plan. 

So now I think, how much would I have accomplished if I had just done what I wanted and not cared what others thought? How many more people would I have helped or great things achieved? How many more friends would I have made or relationships would have been created?

All I can do now is look ahead, as one cannot go back and change things that have been. Just do it. And that's exactly what I need to do. I know I have potential; I am capable of so much. I want to help others. I want to be an influence of change, hope, and passion. I need to let go of the social expectations weighing me down and start flying in my own direction. 

Naturally, I have always been a perfectionist. By this, I mean that even when learning to walk, I wouldn't try until I did it perfectly. My mom was worried because I wasn't walking, but then one day, I was up and moving. I had practiced alone until I had it down. Ever since, I have been a perfectionist. I like to do things my own way, and I am also my own worst enemy. Very very rarely am I not aware of something I have done wrong. I have highly developed intrapersonal skills, while my interpersonal skills need some work. I become nervous and afraid having a simple conversation with someone. I don't know what to expect and become self conscious. Being afraid of communicating with people has been one of the biggest factors of not being active. I have great plans, but needing to communicate with others has sleazy so stopped me. 

Now I am gaining interpersonal skills and have become much more outgoing compared to how I used to be, but I have not carried out any plans yet. My Capstone Project has not been progressing as well as it should be, as I am at the point where I need to start contacting organizations and talking to people. However, I want to have my project become a success, so I will get over my fear of conversations and know I am human, as is everyone else, and everyone makes mistakes. 

Here's to tomorrow- a day full of new experiences, new opportunities, and renewed strength. Let my passions and my inner-self show, and not care what society thinks. I am the writer of my own story, not one chapter in the book of societal norms. Carpe diem; seize the day; just do it.